I’ll never forget how my doctor told me about my diagnosis for the first time:
“You were dealt a bad hand,” she said. “You have multiple myeloma, a blood cancer. And you have the most aggressive form.”
I have no idea what she said after that.
My mind was racing with questions like:
- How long do I have to live?
- What do I have to do before I die?
- Will it hurt?
- What can I do to beat the odds?
When I told my primary doctor about this, he said, “She really said that? That’s cold.”
How did your doctor break the news to you?
How did you feel about that?
Certainly, there must be a better way.
How does this sound?
“We looked at your tests, and we noticed some abnormalities. We can get this under control with medications over the next few months. You might experience some discomfort. Possibly fever. Vomiting. Insomnia. But you won’t lose your hair. I want you to know that you didn’t do anything to get this diagnosis. And you couldn’t have done anything to prevent this. How does this sound so far?”
“Okay, I guess.”
“In case you’re wondering, the disease you have is in the category of disorders called cancer.”
“Oh, that doesn’t sound good.”
“No. It doesn’t. But we can get this under control.”
If my doctor had framed the conversation like this, I might have left her office with hope instead of fear.
My wife insisted I switch doctors and treatment centers.
My new doctors at the Mayo Clinic (you might have heard of them) were much more compassionate.
More about that in another post.
Questions for Consideration
- How did your doctor break the news to you?
- How did you feel about that?
- Did you pay attention to what they said after that? Or did you start thinking of questions in your mind?
- What would you have wanted the doctor to have said?
